Parenting Boys
Parenting Boys is not Easy
Parents with both daughters and sons will tell you that parenting both are widely different. Boys have a completely different temperament as well as learning ability from girls. According to scientific research, brain differences and hormones such as testosterones account for the differences in the actions and development between boys and girls. Most parents find out for themselves that parenting girls are relatively easier than parenting boys. An insight on the gender disparity due to male hormones and handling it sensibly will go a long way in making boys grow up to be capable, caring and confident individuals.
Here are some common problems related to parenting boys and tips on how to deal with them:
Hyperactive
Boys are naturally active and full of energy that need to have an outlet, the reason why they run around, shout and love to rough around. Parents should encourage boys to take up a sport where they can expend all these excess energies. Sports are also one way of teaching a child team spirit, leadership skill and build character.
Act without thinking
Boys often get into trouble more frequently than girls because they tend to act first before they think. It is so easy for boys to be in a fight and most often physical fights. Parents should deal with this by discussing it with them in a calm and open manner and explain to them ways of amicably settling conflicts.
Separation angst
Boys more than girls get upset from being separated from parents. This may seem surprising since it is the common belief that boys are stronger than girls. They may be stronger physically but emotionally young boys are more fragile than girls. Parents should realize this and devote more attention to young boys and if possible delay or put-off leaving sons to child minders.
Authoritative Parenting
Parenting with Authority
Authoritative parenting is a parenting approach that requires parents to apply restrain and control over children. This is done by putting in place a system of rules and course of actions that the children are expected to follow. These rules should not be too rigid to promote the development of independence and accountability. While exercising control, parents should also work on developing a loving intimate relationship with their child. Parents should learn to convey love without being anxious that it will negate their ability to exert their authority. Authoritative parenting advances an amicable and friendly communication with their children and builds trust and confidence between the child and their parent.
Putting in place a system of rules and course of actions for children is a very important part of bringing up children. Authoritative parenting dictates that parents implement this system of rules without any intimidation and the menace of punishment. But should command obedience by making sure that the system of rules is clear, fair, unswerving and never illogical or capricious. Even if a frank dialogue and a vigorous debate are encouraged in resolving important matters, at the end of the day it is still the parents who will have the final word. Authoritative parenting, however, requires that parents have the courage to admit and apologize if and when they are wrong.
Authoritative parenting requires a parent’s total involvement in the life of their children. Parents should take active part in a child’s day to day activities at home, in school and even at play. They should always be around to help children with problems in school and in other issues concerning the child and strive to arrive at answers and resolutions of problems and issues together. It has been proven that children raised by parents exercising authoritative parenting excel in school, mature and develop to be individuals that are goal oriented, self-sufficient, confident, assertive and respectful of authority.
How to Avoid Spanking Your Child
Spanking is not an Option
Parents as a rule hate to spank their children. But there are times when parents get so provoked by their children that spanking happens. In cases like this even the parents are also hurting. Spanking is a form of corporal punishment that is absolutely opposed to correct parenting. It will not prevent a child from misbehaving; in fact it produces a negative effect on the child. Children learn that violence and aggression are solutions to resolving a conflict. It is also believed that children who suffered physical punishment have low-self esteem, anti-social behavior and less productive as an adult.
Here are some advices on what to do to avoid spanking a child:
Calm down
When your patience has been stretched to the limit by the irrational behavior of your child and you are just sorely tempted to smack them, step back, leave the room and try to block out the screaming, whining and tantrums from your mind. When you have regained some calm and composure go back to the room and pacify the child by hugging them and speaking to them in a soothing manner.
Give your child options
One classic case when parents are tempted to spank their child is when a child refuses to respond to a repeated admonition to behave. When a child continues to play with their food during dinner even after repeatedly calling their attention, in a firm but gentle manner inform them that if they do not behave they can leave the table.
Give yourself some space and time
Most often some parents, particularly mothers, resort to spanking because their nerves are on edge from the constant demands of a husband, children and daily chores. To be a more tolerant parent, give yourself some time to recoup and recharge. Go out with friends to the movies, call a baby sitter and have an afternoon off to pamper yourself with a massage or a manicure. This will give you a more indulgent attitude towards the ruckus of the children.
Spanking should never be an option to discipline and proper parenting.
