How to Deal with Children with Behavioral Problems
Children with Behavioral Problem Need Attention
Children are normally rowdy and unruly. But when the child exhibits more than the normal raucousness and disruptiveness that their behavior already upsets family life and affects the child’s social, academic and emotional development, then something has to be done. If paid attention to and focused on at an early age, this difficult and unsettling behavior can still be altered and corrected so as not to impede the normal development of the child.
Here are some tips on how to deal with children with behavioral problems:
Pay attention to the good and ignore the bad
Most of the times children act up or become unruly and misbehaved because they want to get the attention of their parents. They know that when they misbehaved, parent’s attention is on them, usually to reprimand them. Parents should realize this, so that rather than focus on the bad, they should concentrate on what the child is doing right and commend them for it. Ignoring the bad behavior of a child will take a lot of effort and patience from the parents. However, once the child realizes that tantrums and rowdiness do not merit any attention from their parents, then they will find out what attracts this attention.
Show the child what the right behavior is
Parents should teach by example. If they want respect from the child, they too should respect the child and one another. Fighting and squabbling in front of the child will teach the child to be aggressive and quarrelsome.
Lay the ground rules
Children should have ground rules to follow. They should know and understand clearly what is expected of them. This can be done by setting up a system of rules and the end results if the rules are not followed. This system of rules however, should be accommodating enough to allow for a child’s personality and uniqueness. In implementing the rules, parents should be consistent.
Why NO is not a Bad Word
NO as a Way of Teaching Children
The word NO even for adults is not something that they relish hearing. Much more so for a child to whom the word NO means control. Some child psychologists advise that saying no is not the correct way of disciplining children. But it is a fact of life that NO is a fundamental part of peoples’ lives and something that has to be accepted positively. Children has to learn to deal with the word NO and consider it as such. Saying NO at the proper time and for the right reason is one way of teaching children to be appreciative, motivated, centered and well adjusted human beings.
Parents should realize that saying NO is a means to teach their children. They should learn how to say NO and say NO not as a reprimand but as a sign of caring. By telling them NO in this manner children will get used to hearing the word without attributing a negative connotation to it. This could only be done when parents also explain to a child why they are saying NO. The explanation should be simple and clear enough, something that is understandable to them. For a young child a simple “NO because it will hurt your” or something to that effect will be enough. As the child grows older the explanation for a NO should also be more detailed. The underlying principle is the same, it is a NO because you care. They will get used to hearing the word NO and also understand the reason behind it.
Some parents find it easier to say YES since this is less stressful, no tantrums, no whining no arguments, but this is only temporary. When children realize that their parents will say YES just to get them off their backs, they become manipulative; the demands will increase in frequency and value. These children will grow up spoiled and not appreciative of what they have. They will have that feeling of entitlement and will not be expected or motivated to work for what they want.
