Parenting Boys
Parenting Boys is not Easy
Parents with both daughters and sons will tell you that parenting both are widely different. Boys have a completely different temperament as well as learning ability from girls. According to scientific research, brain differences and hormones such as testosterones account for the differences in the actions and development between boys and girls. Most parents find out for themselves that parenting girls are relatively easier than parenting boys. An insight on the gender disparity due to male hormones and handling it sensibly will go a long way in making boys grow up to be capable, caring and confident individuals.
Here are some common problems related to parenting boys and tips on how to deal with them:
Hyperactive
Boys are naturally active and full of energy that need to have an outlet, the reason why they run around, shout and love to rough around. Parents should encourage boys to take up a sport where they can expend all these excess energies. Sports are also one way of teaching a child team spirit, leadership skill and build character.
Act without thinking
Boys often get into trouble more frequently than girls because they tend to act first before they think. It is so easy for boys to be in a fight and most often physical fights. Parents should deal with this by discussing it with them in a calm and open manner and explain to them ways of amicably settling conflicts.
Separation angst
Boys more than girls get upset from being separated from parents. This may seem surprising since it is the common belief that boys are stronger than girls. They may be stronger physically but emotionally young boys are more fragile than girls. Parents should realize this and devote more attention to young boys and if possible delay or put-off leaving sons to child minders.
How to Deal with Children with Behavioral Problems
Children with Behavioral Problem Need Attention
Children are normally rowdy and unruly. But when the child exhibits more than the normal raucousness and disruptiveness that their behavior already upsets family life and affects the child’s social, academic and emotional development, then something has to be done. If paid attention to and focused on at an early age, this difficult and unsettling behavior can still be altered and corrected so as not to impede the normal development of the child.
Here are some tips on how to deal with children with behavioral problems:
Pay attention to the good and ignore the bad
Most of the times children act up or become unruly and misbehaved because they want to get the attention of their parents. They know that when they misbehaved, parent’s attention is on them, usually to reprimand them. Parents should realize this, so that rather than focus on the bad, they should concentrate on what the child is doing right and commend them for it. Ignoring the bad behavior of a child will take a lot of effort and patience from the parents. However, once the child realizes that tantrums and rowdiness do not merit any attention from their parents, then they will find out what attracts this attention.
Show the child what the right behavior is
Parents should teach by example. If they want respect from the child, they too should respect the child and one another. Fighting and squabbling in front of the child will teach the child to be aggressive and quarrelsome.
Lay the ground rules
Children should have ground rules to follow. They should know and understand clearly what is expected of them. This can be done by setting up a system of rules and the end results if the rules are not followed. This system of rules however, should be accommodating enough to allow for a child’s personality and uniqueness. In implementing the rules, parents should be consistent.
How to Make Co-Parenting Work
Co – Parenting Made Easy
After a bitter and hostile divorce, the thought of talking to and meeting an ex-partner is an unwelcome and stressful experience. But for ex-partners who were granted co – parenting or joint custody of their children, this is unavoidable. However difficult and nerve-racking each encounter will be, it has to be done and should be done amicably, if only for the sake of the children.
The emotional and psychological stability of children after the divorce should be the prime consideration of both ex-partners. They should set aside their own personal feelings for each other to come up with joint decisions on matters pertaining to the children’s welfare. Co-parenting or joint custody is the only way for both ex-partners to maintain a close relationship with their children. It can be difficult at first, but ex-partners can learn to co-parent successfully without sacrificing their sense of self-worth. Some of the things ex-partners can do to make co-parenting work are as follows:
Change perspective about relationship with ex
Your ex is no longer your life partner. Your relationship as man and wife has ended, but your relationship with your ex as your co-partner in caring for your children is not. Think about your ex-partner as your collaborator in the task of parenting your children. The children’s needs and concerns should be the first priority.
Set aside emotions
To make co-parenting work, ex-partners should set aside their feelings of anger, resentment and hurt and instead concentrate on the children. The needs, happiness, emotional stability and the future of the children are more important than the ex-partners’ personal feelings.
Don’t let children choose
Never criticize or say damaging things about an ex to the children or give them the idea that they have to choose between their parents. Children need to have a relationship with both their parents and destroying that relationship through undue influence is unfair to the children.
Don’t put children in the middle
Don’t ever use children to bring messages to an ex; doing so is putting the children in the middle of the conflict. If there is something that needs to be said that cannot be said in person, send a message thru an e-mail or phone call.
What is ODD and How Are Children with ODD Treated
What is ODD and How Are Children with ODD Treated
ODD means Oppositional Defiant Disorder and it is both a psychiatric and behavioral complaint of children. Children with ODD are aggressive, defiant, disobedient, and hostile towards adults and especially parents. These children have that penchant for irritating and annoying others. Children afflicted with ODD are temperamental and are inclined to go into tantrums, refuse to follow rules and guidance, confrontational and do not claim accountability for their actions.
Treatment for children with ODD symptoms is intended to minimize or totally correct the difficult behavior of these children. The treatment usually concentrates first on the behavior that is injurious to others or behavior that will have a graver significance in the maturing of a child. These are considered more serious behavior and ODD treatment is biased towards such behavior.
ODD Treatment needs the total participation of the entire family and other people that the child gets in contact with on a daily basis such as baby sitters, tutors, teachers and other adults that are engaged to teach a child. The ODD Treatment also involves a program personally tailored to the needs of the child. The program gives children training on learning coping mechanisms and basic skills such as the proper way to articulate frustration and anger. Children are also taught to respect the opinion and rights of others and at the same time realize the effect of their action on others.
The two treatment approaches, a treatment program for children and a program for the adults such as parents supplement each other. The program for the family reinforces and upholds the gains accomplished in the program for children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
The basis of a treatment program for a child afflicted with ODD is the learning hypothesis. Children should learn correct and new behavior at the same time unlearning the destructive behavior by putting in place regulations and conditions.
How to Make Kids Listen
Teach Children to Listen
One cause of exasperation for parents is when children just don’t listen. One disciplining technique is how to make kids listen to their parents. Communication is the key to a good relationship between parent and child. There are, however, so many distractions and interruptions that get in the way for parents and child to establish good communication. It is the parents’ duty to teach children to listen to them rather than castigate them for not paying attention to them. But teaching kids to listen requires becoming skilled in talking to them.
Here are some ways on how to make kids listen:
Parents should go down to a child’s level
This advice on how to make a kid listen means literally going down to a kid’s level. If the child is a toddler parents can hunker down or put the child on their knees and establish eye contact. This way, parents will have the full attention of the child. Then parents should talk slowly, clearly and evenly so that the child will understand what the parent wants to communicate to them.
Get to the point quickly
Another advice on how to make a kid listen is for to parents to say what needs to be said briefly, succinctly and explicitly. Kids have a short attention span and when parents go to such length in making their point the kid’s attention will wander or they might even turn a deaf ear to their parents.
Parents should not raise their voice
Shouting, yelling or raising their voice is one thing a parent should not do if they want their kids to listen to them. This will only distress or even anger the kid and whatever a parent wants to say will be not be absorbed by an angry or distressed child. Shouting is also an indication that the parent is not in control and some children might even take advantage of that failing.
